April 14, 2016, was the day that marked my life. This date marked the day of the end of a chapter and the start of another chapter. On this day, I felt so lonely and about to hit a low point to depression. In my mind there were two options and for a week I asked God to prepare me for the moment when it arrived. My options were to not say anything and stay depressed or to talk and live happy and glad that I won’t be able to hide myself from my family and friends.
My mom noticed I was feeling very differently and not the same person as before. So I sat down on my computer and I started writing a 1-page letter to my parents. In the letter, It stated that I have been feeling down for months and that something has been bothering me for years. In that letter, I noted that I have known for years that my preference has been to men. I stated that I was sorry for keeping this a secret for a long time. It’s a wall that is build due to beliefs and personal judgment, doubts and concerned of not having the support of the people you love.
So, the next day I went home for my lunch break and my mom wasn’t home, so before I went back to work, I left the letter in her bed. So, I went back to work and finished up my day. As soon as I got home, my mom was waiting for me with the letter in her hand and asked me that if it was true, and I said a very sad “YES”. She said that she knew something was going on because I am looking different for the last week, and she thought something is going on. She somewhat knew something was on my mind, and she never asked, but she knew that when it was the right time, I would have told her. Furthermore, She stated that doesn’t care about what my preference is just to be careful and not to get very wild. Also, she also stated to take my time to get to know people first and not to rush.
She stated that is the same as dating a girl or guy just to take your time a day-by-day process. So right after my mom and I had our heartwarming conversation. We both cried and a feeling of relief overwhelmed me and huge baggage left my shoulders and my heart. I felt so Awesome I just felt free are years of social Pressure and thinking about what other people think. This is not real life. I felt empty for over 27 yrs. That feeling of relive. That was just the first step the next step was to open with the rest of the family and to my surprised everyone was very supportive and some even became very overprotective of me. I guess I could say I was blessed.
If You have any questions please leave it at the comment section….
Thrive life with M 